Another Year, Another Prayer

The passing of time is bittersweet, with the joy of watching my children grow, but realizing that each day they’re closer to being all grown.  With each passing year I strengthen relationships that have weathered storms, but also realize that more years have passed without connecting with old cherished friends.  We welcome new life, but also realize that the days are dwindling for others we love.

That bittersweet realization came especially true last week as I visited my ailing grandmother, likely seeing her for the last time.  Our family had some time to explore the area, playing in parks I played in as a young child, and seeing family that I love and rarely see.  Visiting those roots, and the passing of another year also makes me think of Austin with bittersweet memories.  His photos are in that home, from him as a baby to the most recent ones we have, and I was reminded that there are people who remember and love him.  That part was sweet, as the only people who seem to remember him are family, and some days feel as the rest of the world doesn’t know he lived.  But another year has passed with no word, no answers, no closer it seems.

This was our fifth Christmas without him, and in some ways it is easier and in some ways harder than the first.  I was thinking on the families going through their first, and likely not sure how they’ll ever get through another if they must.  I remember being them, meeting a family who had been searching for 7 years, and thinking that we couldn’t do that.  But we’re close, and if the years continue on, so will we. But I also know that family we met found answers, as I hope we will. 

But through all of those thoughts, both of loss and of how much we have, I tried to think of how to start the new year.  Last year I decided to begin writing, decided to put my heart on ‘paper’ and share with anyone who would read it.  That was a huge leap for me, as I prefer to share my thoughts, but not really my feelings.  And it has been good, better than I imagined actually.

I heard Rick Warren speak yesterday (via video).  He is the author of ‘The Purpose Driven Life’ which is the best selling book of all time worldwide, other than the bible.  Wow.  To have that kind of influence and to be used by God in such a way!  He said that the purpose of influence is to speak for those who have no influence.  I was reminded yet again that while my influence is small, I can use it to speak for those who have no influence- those who are hurting, those without hope, or those with it who need someone to help.

While I listened, and wondered how I could do that more, he went on to say that this year we should look at what we have and throw it down to God.  Much like Moses gave his shepard staff to God, and God used it to lead His people across the Red Sea, we can look at what we have in our hands and though we may have no idea how God can or will use it, if we give it to Him, He will. 

So this year, I’d like to share my story with more, throwing down the small gift I have to offer.  I pray that this year, God uses my heart and story even more than last year, and that I have the courage to look for opportunities to share it.  My fears in asking for opportunities to share is something that I can’t overcome alone, but can with Him.  So there it is, my prayer for the New Year.

I pray that this year, we all use the influence we have to speak for those who have no influence.  That whatever usually gets in our way, from fear to complacency, be pushed aside.  That we look at what we already have in our hand and throw it down for God to use.  You and I will likely never have the influence of Rick Warren, but we can be used here and now.

Happy New Year!

Comments

  1. Anonymous says:

    I am going to read this entire blog. I run a missing peoples page on FB. For now I send you prayers. Most sincerely, Marcia Ann

  2. Thank you Marcia Ann!

  3. Anonymous says:

    You are more than welcome..still reading (had to go to my sons for a bit but am back now) You have a beautiful family also. My heart breaks for the families of my missing people. I don’t sleep well at night just thinking how I could somehow do something more..You are an amazing woman; prayers for you and your family. Sincerely, Marcia

  4. I have made a missing page for him at the url I named below. You can go there and see it if you like. I won’t post it or pass it to all my friends unless I have your permission. I have many missing people on my page, plus many searchers, like myself. If you give your permission I will pass it. I am taking it for granted that he is still alive because nowhere in this blog did I see that he had passed on. I am trying to not offend anyone here by being pushy..I only want to help in any way I can. Please let me know what you wish me to do. I will check back here later to get your answer. Most sincerely, Marcia

  5. Hi Marcia, I don’t see a url, but would love to see it. We don’t know if he is alive, though I don’t truly believe he is. But regardless of what the answers are, we want them and pray for them daily. Help and support from anywhere and anyone is welcome!

  6. Marcia Ann says:

    Checking back in to say hi..and I am going to copy and paste my url here in a moment. I hope you are doing well..I have been having tired spells (oh I hate that) anyway will be back with the url and God bless you and your family!

  7. Marcia Ann says:

    https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150659018084045&set=a.10150653404814045.489648.623054044&type=3&theater

    https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150659019189045&set=a.10150653404814045.489648.623054044&type=3&theater

    Above are the links and I sure hope they work for you. If you would rather that I did not pass my flyers please tell me and I will of course respect your wishes.
    sincerely, Marcia

  8. Thank you Marcia, those are great.

  9. Marcia Ann says:

    OK then I am going to keep passing. Just to let you now, I have had people who were missing that were also found 10 to 20 years later. This CAN and DOES happen. Sometimes a person, even though you think they are happy with their life, will go away and change everything..trying to claim a new existence. I realize you already know all of this but I don’t want you to loose that last little shred of hope until true evidence is found! Please don’t feel at all that you or any of the family were to blame for his disappearance or there was something you could have done to have prevented this. Remember this one thing..you were a wonderful sister to this man and there was not anything that would have stopped the events as they took place. Sometimes it is what it is, if that makes any sense to you. I want you to believe me and have peace of mind. You and all of your family deserve to live a wonderful life, and you will always be in my prayers. I admire you tremendously for your courage and I love this blog you have made. God bless you all!

  10. Hi, I am just stopping by to say Happy Valentine’s Day (well, its night here) but my intentions are in the right place anyway, lol. How are you and your family doing? There has been lots of stress here, we recently lost a beloved Uncle who was more like a dad to all of us. Hard, extremely hard on my son! Then my sons’s dad was in the hospital at the very same time so that was another step on Stress Street. (His dad and I have been divorced for years, but we still remain together. In fact, he lives right behind me in the same apartment building. He is very ill from a neck fusion that did not go in his favor) The old Can’t Live With Em but Can’t Live Without em thing. I have been thinking of you a lot lately; just wanted to let you know that. Please join me on Facebook if you have an account there; I would love to be your friend! Best wishes for a happy day, and your blog remains in my heart always! hugs, Marcia

  11. Thanks for stopping by. We’re doing okay, lots of stress from random areas right now, but as always trying to focus forward and be thankful for all we have. I’m sorry to hear your family has had such trouble also, taking time to pray for you today. I just sent a facebook request to someone that I ‘think’ is you! If, not look me up. <3, Anita

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