A few days ago I wrote half a blog post that I couldn’t get finished for some reason. I was reminded of it this morning, how I’d written about choosing to be happy even in times where that’s tough. Here’s an excerpt from what I wrote:
“When I was a teenager, the words that could irritate me like no other were “decide to be happy”- usually coming from my dad when something in my teen world wasn’t going quite right- and in the life of a teenage girl, things usually aren’t. I knew he was right but that didn’t make me like it any more.”
Well, things aren’t going quite right for us this week. It’s Christmas, the most magical time, a time I truly love. And today and tomorrow are my favorite days of the year. Tonight’s plan was our KidStuf show at church, with Michael and I on stage and our boys in the audience, with our amazing and talented team helping prepare hearts of kids of all ages for Christmas. Then, we were to have dinner with a group of friends we call family, and would end the night with a beautiful candlelight service. Tomorrow morning we’d wake up to the awe and wonder of our boys’ faces as they discovered the tree transformed with gifts from Santa and gifts from us. We’d have a relaxing day and one of our favorite meals (a big pot of shrimp boil) before packing the car and making the drive to see Michael’s family for a few days. As with every day, especially days like this, we would miss Austin and wish he was there. But it would be a magical time regardless.
|view from the room this morning|
Instead, I’m writing from Michael’s hospital room yet again, and making sure that all bases are covered for Santa to still visit, and the rest of Christmas Day to be postponed until we’re home. We won’t be able to reschedule Christmas Eve with our family of friends, or reschedule the trip to West Virginia anytime soon (much too long a drive for a weekend visit, much too expensive to fly and tough to schedule with Drew in school).
Today’s a day I truly have to choose to be happy, but I have to dig deeper than just happy. Happy is a feeling that is influenced by circumstances, but Joy is part of who you are. Joy is knowing that no matter the circumstances, no matter the feelings of the moment, your soul has peace. I could get away with giving into the disappointment today, it’s understandable. But I won’t. I choose joy.
I’m joyful for the reason for Christmas, for a savior who was born to change the world. I’m joyful for the promises made that no matter our circumstances, there is reason for joy.
All around us there are people needing to choose joy because of things happening that make it so difficult. I see it here- from staff who will be working, to families wishing they were anywhere else. I see it in those I love who are missing someone or are struggling to provide. But I’ve seen people choosing joy already today- nurses and food services staff who are cheerful and give no clue they’d rather be home, and family members wishing Merry Christmas to those they see. And we have many around us choosing to help us find joy by loving us in their own ways, as they have so many times. What I’ve realized, is that when we choose joy for ourselves, we can’t help but spread it to others as well.
Merry Christmas my friends, what a joyous day it is.