The Fun One

Not too long ago I wrote about Austin being ‘The Bad One’ But I’ve also come to the conclusion that he was also ‘The Fun One’ of us. I say this laughing, because I have fun. I truly enjoy life, relish adventures, and laugh a lot. Just like Austin did.

But…. he wouldn’t have gone to bed at 11pm, while others were just starting their night (like I did last night). He would have stories to tell this morning, other than how comfortable the hotel bed was (but it really was). He wouldn’t have considered sitting in the hotel lobby for four hours because the Skyway system might be too easy to get lost in (which it was). He would have just jumped in, though in his own relaxed way.

I’m thankful for my friends who I feel safe enough with to always have fun, and for my mom who always pushed me to live a little (though still doesn’t like me traveling alone), and a husband and kids that never let me forget that being with them is the best fun.

Over the years I’ve figured out how to not let so much get in the way of doing things I find fun. But mostly the change is being okay with my ideas of fun, and being okay with doing my own thing. But still…. Austin really was the fun one, so I guess fun and bad are sometimes the same.

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The Bad One

We had a conversation recently at our house that Austin would have argued with me on.  I guess I just found the one perk of your brother being missing… he can’t win the argument he isn’t there for!  It was one of those silly conversations that we would have laughed about.

Ben is a handful- a handsome, sweet, independent, smart, huggable, handful.  He walked early, and has been in fast forward motion ever since.  He wants to do everything himself, and when he doesn’t get his way, he makes it very clear that he’s not happy.  And then he hugs you.  And you forget what a terror he just was.  Almost.

I made the comment that Austin would really enjoy Ben, and would laugh at me trying to successfully parent this crazy little one.  Drew asked me why, and I told him that his Uncle Austin was just like Ben, and would really appreciate seeing me tortured so!  I jokingly told Drew that “Uncle Austin was the bad one and I was the good one.”  Drew immediately wanted to know which one he was, and I quickly answered “the good one.”

The truth is, I followed the less rocky path, the clearer path, the one that most would choose for their child.  (Note- trust me when I say that I am NOT claiming to have been or be an angel!)  Drew chooses those same paths.  He is more cautious, slower to act and quicker to think.  (Note- he is also no angel!) Drew and I play it safe.

Austin chose to do what was fun and was quicker to decide what that was.  He was sweet and never mean that I can honestly remember.  His path was different than mine, more rocky and curvy, and all his own.  I think it may have been harder, but it was his.  Decisions weren’t based on fear but on pursuing what he wanted.  What he wanted wasn’t always what we wanted for him, but it was never bad, never hurtful to others.  It was the right path for him.

Ben’s path is still so unclear…. but it’s already pretty clear that it’s not a safe and easy one, but one we’ll try his whole life to protect him on, and one I believe he’ll enjoy and be a joy to others on.  Just like his Uncle Austin.