No complaining unless you have possible solutions to offer. That statement jumped out at me like it was a neon flashing sign. I was sitting in a cold room, trying not to cough incessantly and get more awake. But that statement by the speaker made me immediately think of so many people we’ve met in the missing person community.
We’ve met mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, spouses, grandparents and friends. All ages, races, socioeconomic groups, religions…. all are impacted by missing people in their lives. But it dawned on me this morning that I’ve very rarely heard these people complain.
They could complain about their bad luck, their lost days, the choices made by others that put them here, law enforcement needing to be pushed, too little media, too little help, or so many other things. But they rarely do. The people we’ve met won’t take the focus away from their loved one and put it on their own problems.
Instead, they make solutions. They bring resources in on their own for searches when police won’t or can’t. They hold car washes and yard sales to raise funds. They seek out other families many states away for support they can’t find local. They spend many hours researching and learning new tactics. They go places they shouldn’t. They choose to celebrate holidays, even when there is a hole. They love those still here.
When they must complain, it always seems to be in an effort to push forward. These are people who take their complaints and turn them into law changes that effect us all. They train to search to bring hope to families. They advocate for those who can’t speak for themselves. They hold hands and offer hugs to those dealing with the first days of a search.
They encourage and inspire me daily. Yet I still complain about traffic and coffee and another hundred things that don’t matter. What if we all truly lived the no complaining rule? Wow, what could happen.
(www.jongordon.com for info on the speaker that inspired this post. You can also find Jon on Facebook and Twitter)
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