Real Life

I love inspirational quotes, blog posts that uplift and empower, special moments with my kids, family vacations, and backyard camping. I love Hallmark moments.

I like to look back at photos from happy days, with my smiling boys and fun yet educational outings. I love to plan those rare days, where I leave the hated blackberry at home and focus on what matters. On those days I dream of my future with a flexible work schedule on my terms where I have more days like this.

But sometimes I put so much pressure on myself and our family to have all days be like that. I’m on vacation this week, and despite lack of finances to go away, I wanted to plan a fun and memorable stay-cation. I made a Pinterest board, I posted on Facebook, I made notes and did research. I emailed the schedule out, and told everyone it would be like vacation except we’d sleep at home. But it didn’t really turn out that way.

My husband got sick, which happens way too often, which ended much of our plans. So I sat home and sulked while letting the boys watch all the TV they wanted. I’m sulking over vacation days wasted and plans ruined and what I think I deserve on my rare free days.

Reality check. Life doesn’t always go to plan, people get sick, things happen. And today I’m not even going to remind myself of all I know, that these days can be just as good (or better) than the planned days, that I have much to be thankful for.

Today, I’m sharing a photo of reality. Not the pretty happy photos we all usually post, but the gritty real life we share with those we love.

We too often put up a front that all is well and life is grand. Then others wish their life was like that. We all do it sometimes, either faking it or wishing for a life we don’t even realize is faked. But we all have these days, not every moment is Hallmark.

Sharing life is sharing it all.

And I’ll start saving money to plan a real vacation soon!

– Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Out With The Old

Trash pickup has never been an eventful day for me.  I don’t even take the cans out, just notice them as I leave, thankful that my husband takes care of things like that.  This Monday morning was a bit different though, with me actually considering taking a photo of our trash- and then almost tearing up when I realized they had just taken it away and I didn’t even see them load it.

Just a few days ago I decided that we really did need to get rid of the dirty broken jeep that has been in our yard.  Even though Ben likes to sit in it, it needed to go.  No big deal.  Sunday night I dragged it to the front, glad to have it gone.  But the next morning, I had a moment of questioning if I could really get rid of it, as Ben saw it through the window and wondered why it was there.

It’s just a silly 4+ year old kids toy, but it is in the last (and one of the only) photos I have of Drew with Austin.  It was from the last Christmas Austin was with us.  Watching Drew’s eyes light up, a sweet 4 year old so happy to see what Santa had brought, with family around that he loved.  It was a special moment as a mom.  And as a sister too, as I saw my brother share in it.

But I let it go, because it isn’t the memory, just a yellow piece of plastic.  The photo and the memory remains.  But it didn’t stop me from walking out into the driveway to see it drive away one last time.

The Fun One

Not too long ago I wrote about Austin being ‘The Bad One’ But I’ve also come to the conclusion that he was also ‘The Fun One’ of us. I say this laughing, because I have fun. I truly enjoy life, relish adventures, and laugh a lot. Just like Austin did.

But…. he wouldn’t have gone to bed at 11pm, while others were just starting their night (like I did last night). He would have stories to tell this morning, other than how comfortable the hotel bed was (but it really was). He wouldn’t have considered sitting in the hotel lobby for four hours because the Skyway system might be too easy to get lost in (which it was). He would have just jumped in, though in his own relaxed way.

I’m thankful for my friends who I feel safe enough with to always have fun, and for my mom who always pushed me to live a little (though still doesn’t like me traveling alone), and a husband and kids that never let me forget that being with them is the best fun.

Over the years I’ve figured out how to not let so much get in the way of doing things I find fun. But mostly the change is being okay with my ideas of fun, and being okay with doing my own thing. But still…. Austin really was the fun one, so I guess fun and bad are sometimes the same.

– Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone