My little guy (the one more like me than I usually admit) went to his first day of 3rd grade with different colored shoe laces in each shoe, and no one walking him to class. “Mom, I’m not five” is exactly what he said. I hadn’t made a comment about the laces, because what do I know about cool? But not walking my son in and taking a photo of him in front of his desk? Come on! You can’t really expect a mom to be okay with that.
|Watching him walk away|
But we must.
We must let them grow, giving them independence in safe and healthy ways. We must let them be their own person, not a miniature version of us (though its scary just how much like us they are). Even when they make decisions that cause them pain. We guide, we love, we teach through it all, but we must let them find their way.
I know more and more about how my parents felt as they raised us, but especially as they still loved and guided Austin towards the end of his time with us. Like what I did with him as a sister, wanting the best for him, but knowing he had to choose his own way, no matter how much pain it brought him or us.
I think that God must feel something like this. Giving us the tools, love and support we need and knowing that he could choose our way. But He lets us. He loves us enough to want us to come to Him out of our own will, not because he forces it.
So I let go, just one shoelace and walk at a time, so that one day Drew is able to make his own wise choices. But I think like today, I’ll always be watching closely with my heart in my throat.
**I have to add in here that I have some wonderful friends that demonstrate this all the time and just a few days ago discussed this very topic. It helped me today as I watched him go, so thank you dear friends!