Yesterday I was relaxing and holding my
sweet precocious little guy while he slept and thinking about how fast the days are flying by us. It seems like just yesterday we were planning for his arrival. Now we’re chasing him while he laughs, pulling him off of high places he shouldn’t be, and sometimes taking a golf club to the shin in all the fun. And if it seems that the past 19 months have flown by, I look at Drew and can hardly believe that 8 years have gone by. But yet I can’t remember life before him.
Then I realize, we’re almost half way through the years of Drew at home. We’ve already had the biggest impact we will on his personality, esteem, values and learning. From here on we’re reinforcing what we’ve taught, intentionally or not. We’re closer to the start of this journey with Ben, and I was just thinking that I’m glad for more days to mother and love on him, glad that we’re not so near the finish.
|My boys and I recently|
But I started debating how many years it would be before they were ‘raised’. Is it 18 when they’re legally adults, or 21 or so when they finish school (I hope) or when they’re married and on their own, or…? Maybe it’s none of those. Maybe a parent’s job is never quite done, because when do you stop needing loving guidance of someone who loves you more than themselves?
Often when a missing person is an adult, the heartbreak and urgency is lost on those not close to them. But to those that love them, they don’t need us any less. They may need us less in the physical sense, but that’s far from everything.
No matter how old our kids get, we still are teaching them, guiding them, loving on them. We’re still pulling them away from danger when we can, and hurting when they hurt. We’re still getting hit in the shin so to speak at times. And we’re thinking we wouldn’t trade it for anything, hurts and all. The older my boys get, the more I understand the mothers who will never give up. The more I understand that their age has nothing to do with it. I think that is part of God’s plan too. He didn’t tell us to honor our parents when we’re young, but our whole lives. A parents love is the closest thing we have here on earth to His love. It never ends.
So how long to raise a boy? I don’t think I’ll ever be done to find out.